Enviga Green Tea

/ drinks
by Steven

Purchase Price: $6.39 for 6
Purchase Place: Kroger
Rating: 4.5
Pros: Great light taste. Burns calories? No sugar crash.
Cons: Where are the vitamins? Might not burn that much calories.

Most energy drinks provide a strong energy boost and a light crash afterwards for me. Enviga provides good energy and no sugar crash. Maybe it is due to Enviga’s lack of sugar.

Enviga’s nutritional value is very appealing with only 5 calories, no sugar, and even 20% daily value of calcium. Enviga is advertised as a calorie burner. It claims to burn 60-100 calories per day with every three cans. I can’t say this is true due to not having the right materials to due extensive research. Drinking three cans a day seems excessive and people looking to lose weight should try exercising instead.

The diet/aspartame taste is apparent but it is overshadowed by the green tea flavor although the green tea flavor is not overwhelmingly strong. I enjoy this carbonated beverage more than other energy drinks because it’s not super sweet and there is no aftertaste. I have tried the peach and berry flavors and they are disappointing. These flavors taste too artificial.

Enviga is also cheaper at $1.29 instead of $1.99 for a regular energy drink. I believe I have found my favorite “energy” drink.

iRhythms A-211

/ electronics
by Steven

Purchase Price: retails ~$175 but I got it for free.
Purchase Place: Stolen
Rating: 2.0
Pros: Decent bass. Cool touch controls for volume.
Cons: Must use remote to turn on speakers. Volume down button sucks.

Cyber Acoustics is a great company for speakers but their iRhythms line is not that impressive. I upgraded from a CA-5001. It was a decent upgrade since my two of my CA-5001 speakers were not working so technically, it was a 3.1 system.

I usually check reviews and opinions on big purchases (over $9) but since my dad won this at a company lottery, I got a free 2.1 system. The subwoofer is decent but the price is way too high for something designed specifically with the iPod. Since I do not have a iPod, the control dock in front of me is completely useless.

iRhythms A-211 comes with a tiny remote that is mandatory to turn on the speakers unless you want to reach behind the subwoofer which I am way too lazy to do. The dock allows volume control but my volume down button is not as sensitive as the volume up button, which is irritating. I looked on the net and this seems to be a common problem.

The remote seems to have a range of eight inches and presents a short but annoying lag time to the speakers. The treble and bass knobs are at the back of the subwoofer and I can’t reach them unless I crawl under my desk. It would’ve have been nice to have all the controls on the remote and a speaker.

I’m not a huge audiophile but from what I’ve read, the sound is decent but way too expensive. I would recommend the CA-5001(which retails for $80) over the iRhythms A-211. It is cheaper and you get 5.1 with an easy access power button.

Goldfish Flavor Blasted Blazin’ Buffalo Wing

/ snacks
by Steven

Purchase Price: $1.79 for 6.6oz
Purchase Place: Kroger
Rating: 1.0
Pros: Smells like buffalo wings. Crossword puzzle!
Cons: Too weird. Unhealthy. Disgusting taste.

I am going to go ahead and admit that I’m not a goldfish fan. I like baked snacks because they tend to be healthier. I like fish because they don’t talk back when I tell them about my excruciating days at the office. Mixed together; I’ve never really been much of a fan. It’s because cheddar killed my family.

Blazin’ Buffalo Wing caught my eye because I’m a huge wing fan. I ate wings nearly every day last semester. I had to try the Goldfish version and it was one of the biggest mistakes since the time I used aluminum foil and a rubber band as a condom.

Upon opening the package, the familiar flavor of hot wings hit my nostrils. The snack tasted like a hot wing but instead of chicken, it has been replaced by a really salty cracker. The cracker is a little bit spicy but mild enough to be enjoyed by a four-year-old that’s if they don’t throw the bag away after the first bite.

 

This snack overall is equivalent to normal baked chips in terms of health. I recommend the plain Goldfish Cheddar over any other crazy flavors available, and that’s only if you are a fan of cheddar. If the plain Goldfish received a rating of 4.0, then this would be a 1.0 max.

Lander Advanced Lubricating Skin Lotion

/ grooming
by Steven

Purchase Price: $1.00 for 20oz
Purchase Place: Dollar Tree
Rating: 4.5
Pros: Smells nice. Very affordable price. Makes my skin silky smooth.
Cons: Looks like semen. Tastes like semen. People give me weird faces when I whip this out in class and start rubbing myself down.

I am not really a lotion connoisseur although I like to pretend to be one. Sometimes when I get bored, I rub my arms down with lotion. My girlfriend is mystified as to why I have smoother arms than her.

I like to have a nice supply of lotion with me at all times. I purchased the Lander lotion at a Dollar Tree and it is one of the better investments I have made from that store (Damn nunchakus broke after two swings). The Lander lotion’s smell is pleasing and importantly, it does not leave an oily residue on my skin.

The most important factor to me was the price. At $1 for 20oz, I’m sold. I have tried expensive brand name lotions on my joints before and I have not really noticed the difference although I doubt most people will. I will continue to use Lander Dollar Tree lotion brands. I highly recommend this lotion for external use only.

Kroger Ground French Roast Coffee

/ drinks
by Steven

Purchase Price: $1.50
Purchase Place: Kroger
Rating: 0.5
Pros: Cheap. Smells like coffee.
Cons: Very acidic. Tastes almost salty.

Imagine the finest cigar imported from the most exotic regions of Nicaragua. Now instead of smoking it, grind it up with a blender and throw it into a can of Kroger French Roast Coffee. I am by no means a coffee connoisseur but I can safely say that Kroger Coffee is dirt.

I like to have an occasional cup of coffee during my drive to school. Kroger French Roast Coffee does the job by waking me up, but the taste is most unbearable. Just for reference: I drink coffee with a little cream and no sugar. I also think Waffle House coffee is more awesome than Starbucks coffee.

This coffee is so acidic that I spilled some on my lap while driving and it left a scar (not really). I never seem to finish my coffee before I leave my car so I drink the rest when I get back at the end of the day. Kroger French Roast Coffee cold tastes like raw sewage.

I thought I would save a buck and give the Kroger brand a try. I would only recommend this coffee if you lost your sense of taste and want to wake up. I’m never trusting generic brand name coffee again.

(I couldn’t find picture of the can so I’m just posting the Kroger logo.)